David Beckham comes to North America.... The NHL is dead.... and Sid the Kid can kiss LA goodbye. One strange day.

Out of nowhere MLS - Major League Soccer. Yeah, soccer, not futbol - or whoever it's spelled in a nation that cares, has once again stolen the world's biggest star to play in their league. David Beckham will join the Los Angeles Galaxy in August, and the media will go wild. Like they did with Pele when he joined that New York Cosmos team in the 70s.

Unlike Pele, Beckham won't be playing in fields with jimmied up bleachers outside of garbage dumps or the best other location on Stratan Island in NYC. Beckham will gather crowds, no matter where he is. Major league crowds, duke, and that's the problem.

Do I want to watch a bunch of euros kick a ball around for 2.5 hours until one randomly boots it into a gaping mouth of a net? I doubt you do either. But this is David Beckham, and we've been told to like him. He's an athlete duke, and in Europe, he means more than you or I. We better watch.

This officially ends any chance of the NHL in the United States. At least for the next 5 years, because Iman Beckham will be there, along with Posh Spice at every turn. Sean Avery and Elisha Cuthbert are the new.... well Sean Avery and Elisha Cuthbert. Nobody cared then, and they certainly won't know. It's Derek Jeter that needs to watch his back.

There was a time, not too long ago, maybe 24 hours ago, that it seemed ideal that Sidney Crosby should appear his face more in the Hollywood area. For his own good and for the NHL. He's already sported a LA Kings jersey before he was drafted, and spent most of his time working out there. He wanted it, the hockey world wanted it. But fuck it now, duke.

Sid is a skinny, acne ridden, buck toothed kid with no personality. David Beckham is a style magnet with his wife and mother of his kids being a star culture all of her own. Unless Crosby commits a Kobe style rape, which would be horrible, because it would only hit tsn.ca.... this is the death of hockey in the United States.

Premiere the skin tight jerseys at the Allstar Game, NHL. The only one wearing them will be Posh Spice at a MLS game, and that will be the news of that day. On Access Hollywood.

Welcome David Beckham, Goodbye Gary Bettman. Relevance is the idea of 2007, you missed it.