Joey Moss Cup

Tonight the Oilers held their intersquad game between team blue and team white. $2 admission so who can pass that up? First real NHL show of the new rules in a full 3 period game. The red line and smaller neutral zones are very noticable and should make for better hockey. Needless to say the crowd gave their biggest ovations to Chris Pronger, Mike Peca and Ryan Smyth. Some observations:

The two line pass will only work the moment a player on the Oilers besides Dvorak or Shremp can catch a pass. A QB is only as good as his reciever.

Rob Shremp - throw this kid on the team. Better yet, throw him on the first line, he's the best offensive threat the Oilers have. If he doesn't make the team it'll be shenanigans. First two goals of the game snapped home by Robbie. The kid is a fucking all star. His vision, his handle, his passing all top notch. He schooled both Peca and Reasoner on the faceoffs, no easy task. He was like that little weasel Comrie, without the vagina.

Yan Stastney - thanks for showing up. Or did you? I didn't notice. You're cut.

JJ Hunter - tried to intimidate, ended up looking like a pussy. Cut.

Dan Syvret - excellent breakout passes, solid on D. I like him already. These London Knights are ready for the primetime. You're in.

Matheiu Roy - who? Exactly. Cut.

Brad Winchester - what's all the hype about? He's no power forward, he was like an anorexic Isbister. Way to go on the goal, it was more because of a brain fuck by JDD rather than skill.

Zack Stortini - CHL academic player of the year. Captain of the Wolves. Why haven't we heard more about him? He was solid, an excellent two way player. Good vision. AHL for you Zack Attack. Ok, that was gay, but still.

Igor Ulanov - you got burned by Georges Laraque. Need I say more? Cut.

Radek Dvorak - God Bless You. You're the shit and the best thing the Oilers have going. Don't blame yourself buddy, its not your fault the Oilers suck.

Chris Pronger - way to give up the puck twice on one shift right in front of your own net. If you weren't being paid 7 million dollars a year, I'd cut you. Step it up mook.

Ryan Smyth - god, I wish you were traded. Why must you always take a long 3 second wind up and try to slap it in on every half break you have? Everyone knows that's your only move, and you wonder why you can't score like it's 1995 again.

Cory Cross - big albino pussy. Cut.

Toby Peterson - who's dick did you suck to get on the ice? Go home.

Georges Laraque - the new rules are finally going to help this guy avoid the Debrusk syndrome.

Todd Harvey - all heart, only guy looking to fuck someone up with a hit. I'll admit I thought it was a joke they took him on, now I think twice.

Dan Smith, Jean Francois Jacques, Jason Platt, Jani Rita, and Kyle Brodziak..... don't come back. Not even to a training camp. Fuck off, you all suck.

..... and was Ethan Moreau even there? I sincerely hope not, otherwise he was completely useless.

Now for my game day award for retard of the day:

There were a lot of options, Jason Platt losing his stick, gloves and helmet trying to play defense because his arms moved independant of his brain. Those guys on the jumbotron who put on a fake fight, to no laughs. Gene Principe talking into that mic that was clearly off and Ryan Rishaug had to bail him out. That guy that kept yelling out "ehhh ohhh" like it was funny....

But no... the winner, actually winners, are all the people that showed up with 2 minutes until the puck drop and came into the gold section blocking everyone's view trying to find a seat. Hey morons, it's a 2 dollar admission, first come first serve. The people sitting up in the colonade should be a hint that there's no fucking seats right on the red line. Yet, you continue to hover with your ass right beside my face because you're too fucking dumb to realize 5 seats together in the prime area aren't going to magically appear.

Until opening night..... my first Oilers game day review.