NHL2006

New Rosters, New Rules, New Schedules!!

EA's new tag line for their NHL 2006. What does this mean for you? Rosters are amazingly updated, the schedule is whatever. The rules only apply to you.

This means you can't touch a player, you can't get the puck from them. You better not even try, lest you love penalty killing. The AI on the other hand, is allowed to do whatever they feel like. Watch how you get held from behind on a breakaway to no call. How you mysteriously lose the puck for no reason in front of the net. How you get held against the boards, as they pick it up and bury it past your "goalie".

What about the sliders you say? Well they're there, but again they only apply to you. Lower the penalties... they get none. You still take them easily. Lower the poke effectiveness, you will never touch the puck again, they on the other hand will strip it from you with ease.

I am now half way through my first season with the Chicago Blackhawks on the difficult mode. 17-23-0-2. Not too bad considering I started the season 0 and 15. I expected as such, it takes a while to get a handle on a new game, especially on difficult (any other level is for children).

The skill stick is back. Yippee! You can now deke a goalie out of his panties and then say hello to his friends backchecking obstructing defenseman or his other buddy the apparently 5 foot wide post.

See a man open for a one timer? A great way to score, once out of every 45 attempts, the other 40 are picked off by anyone within 10 feet of its path. 4 are blocked point blank after firing off a giant shot. The defensemen on the other team are notorious for their hand eye coordination blocking a Forsberg slapshot with the shaft of their stick in mid air.

Try to block their shots? Good luck. It'll just deflect off you and past your goalie. Leave them to shoot and your goalie can see it? Watch how the twine expands.

Should your opponent get the puck. Give up. Right then. Just wait until the whistle, kick back, sip on your beer. Whatever you do at this point is futile. You will not get the puck away, you bounce off them with a hit, you poke it but they grab it right back. Slash them, go to the box. Block it, watch it deflect in. And God help you if they get the puck behind your net. It's going in, believe that.

By some miracle you do get the puck away, set up a serious breakout by passing it directly onto their players stick. They have great anticipation. Don't pass, just skate.

Only saving grace for this game NHL 2006 is that NHL 2005 sucked so much balls, this game in comparison seems like the greatest thing to happen for hockey fans since Bertuzzi snapped that dude's neck.